I have just managed to get myself the most fancy title of my life so far. Soon I will own a card saying: “SSI Freediving Instructor Trainer”! Who would have thought? Maybe I will need a business card after all. Oh dear.
I went on the SSI ITS (Scuba Schools International Instructor Trainer Seminar, if you must know) with SSI GOD himself, Ronny Kain. He thought it was a good plan to invite me. I was not so sure I should agree with him on that one, but how can you say no to god? When I came back from Sharm, I found a large box with an equally large Instructor Trainer manual inside, that I was supposed to have read back to front and memorized by heart. When people asked me what I was reading (over my sixth coffee) I tried to explain to them what course I was going on: a course where I will be taught to teach people how to teach people how to dive. You can picture the blank looks I got on that one.
Anyways, I think poor Ronny was faced with a bunch of equally blank looking people in Siegburg. We all studied hard, in fact all night every night and then again every morning before breakfast as well as in all of our breaks, and everyone passed! They made me join the scuba instructor trainer trainees in the water, so I had to wear a tank with my freediving wetsuit, which is the silliest thing, I tell you, and just feels wrong. It’s the first time in years I tried to demonstrate a scuba skill, and it was a rather messy performance, but Ronny just closed his eyes and said a prayer or two and it went well enough in the end.
At the end of the course we were all very happy and very tired, so it did not take many drinks to get us to the singing and dancing part of the evening, and I have a little video of a VERY impressive performance by a person who shall remain nameless.
Mmmm. Post it? Don’t post it? Tough one…
Wednesday, 4 May 2011
Thursday: Egypt, beach
After all that work it was time to leave Sharm for a well earned break. Since the Egyptians decided they weren't going to change the clocks this year, after all, my flight suddenly left at 06:15, meaning I was up and waiting for my taxi at four in the morning, with the Immam chanting away at the nearby mosque. Next, Cairo, then: Munich, where Pure Boarder Simon picked me up and took me to Sölden, a ski resort in Austria, for the final event of the season. The plan was to hang out and have a break from being a serious, train-all-the-time, no coffee, no alcohol, freediving athlete person.
Friday: Austria, snow
This was immediately put into practice at the Black&Orange hardrock bar, where I was finally served a Corona. Or maybe two Coronas. Or three?? In any case, I was still wearing my bikini, same as last year, and had my sunglasses welded on my head. We have identified the Black&Orange as the perfect bar for us misfits, as it is run by a misfit, and could not possibly be further from the usual Aprés-Ski circus, which is why it suits us just fine! After dancing about happily to ACDC, Chilli Peppers and Guns&Roses, we fell out of the bar at 03:00am, only to get up at seven - the guys were working, after all, and had to set up the Carver's Paradise stand. This involved sunloungers and blow-up palm trees, which I think is very commendable. Unfortunately, this set-up failed to make the sun come out, so we tried a sun-dance, by adding my tan and bikini to the mix.
Before I knew it, I was made to work, so in fact I don't think I have a had a rest day at all and should be given the month off. Apparently, boss-instructor does not agree with me. He has given me lots of homework, and I have a feeling explantations such as "the guys made me drink the Coronas. Honest!" won't cut it.
I am off to do breathing exercises right now. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing?